Tammy and I had just returned from San Antonio, TX when that conversation with her co-worker took place. I was there in Texas attending a user group conference for the software product that I support. Tammy had tagged along the same as she had done many times in the past for these user group conferences. I was also in the middle of interviewing for a new job so there was a lot on my mind at the time. This new job I was interviewing for would afford me the opportunity to work from home every day instead of just one day a week with the job I had at that time. Being able to work from home would make things easier for us if that international adoption would ever go through.
We met the young girl and Tammy’s co-worker at a local restaurant for dinner one late fall evening in 2010. She was a beautiful blond haired girl with a great personality, though she seemed to be a little reserved and scared – and rightfully so. She was sixteen years old, three months pregnant, and had very little support from her family at the time. The word adoption was only briefly mentioned and we discussed very little on the specifics of the next steps. We just had dinner with a new friend.
We talked about her life where we found out that she used to be in the marching band, the same as me and Tammy. We also learned that she held the same political beliefs, though really unimportant in the grand scheme of things, it was refreshing to see a young lady hold onto the same conservative values as we do. Dinner ended with a promise to keep in touch and, in touch, we did.
Over the next several months we spent a considerable amount of time with her. So much so, that in early December, she spent one night with us at our home in Wake Forest. Me and Tammy were playing in the orchestra at Richland Creek and it was the night of our Christmas program. We had been preparing for months and knowing that she had been in the band in high school, we thought it would be nice for her to see the Christmas program. It also would give her a more intimate look into our lives as a couple. We spent the day with her on Saturday and then went over to the church for all call at 5:30 PM for the program which began at 7:00 PM. After the program, she went back to our house and spent the night with us. That next morning, we all got up and headed to church together.
Still without a firm commitment of adoption, Tammy and I assisted her in any way we could. Are main focus at the time was just give this young lady some Christian guidance that she so sorely needed at the time. Though adoption was our hopeful end goal, our concern from the very beginning was for her. Having recently turning seventeen years old in early December and without reliable transportation, she asked us if we could take her to one of her doctor appointments so we picked up both birth parents one afternoon before Christmas and made our way to the clinic. With this being my first time ever in a clinic such as this, I was very apprehensive. Not knowing what to expect, Tammy did her very best to settle my nerves. Funny thing though – Tammy had never been to one of these clinics here. Not only did they do prenatal care at the clinic, they also performed abortions. Going back to our previous discussions with the birth mother, I was really happy to hear that abortion was seemingly never an option for her. On that visit to the clinic, we got to see the baby via ultrasound. The amazement and sparkle in Tammy’s eyes made everything we had been through worth it.
After Christmas and returning home from West Virginia, we continued meeting with and helping this young girl to the best of our ability. On January 29th, me and Tammy were sitting in our living room watching one of our favorite TV shows when the phone rang. It was Tammy’s coworker. She told us that the birth mother had been taken to the hospital with complications. She was to be put on bed rest and would need to spend a few days at the hospital. We quickly did the math and we quickly thought ‘She is still three months away. Hopefully she will get some rest over the next few days and everything will be OK’. We got ready and went to the hospital that evening to visit with our new friend.
When we got to the hospital, we went straight to her room where we finally got to meet her mother. She looked very tired but she was in good spirits. We stayed for only a short while because she needed her rest. A couple days later, on February 1st 2011, Alec was born at one pound and six ounces.